While I'm Waiting

"When she pushes you away that means she wants you more."

Today in Sevilla, the holiday Dia de Andalucia is being celebrated, resulting in no classes for the day (cue cheers). Because of this, many people took advantage of the extra long weekend (no classes on Fridays ever + no school Tuesday= skipped classes on Monday), causing class attendance yesterday to be extra low. Expecting low numbers, my professor planned to watch the movie, "Won't Back Down" for my education class. It was an incredible movie (that I highly recommend)-- Here's the synopsis: "Two determined mothers­, one a teacher, look to transform their children's failing inner city school. Facing a powerful and entrenched bureaucracy, they risk everything to make a difference in the education and future of their children." 

This movie was based on a true story and it excited me as I was reminded of the power of education and the many reasons I want to be a teacher. Upon my arrival to the States in May I will be 10 classes away from graduation... TEN! I cannot wait to use the elementary education degree I will be getting to better serve children, teach them about Christ's love, and giving them an opportunity to change their future. I personally witnessed in Honduras the power and opportunity education holds to change the projection of a child's future.

Every day my heart absolutely yearns and longs to be in Honduras. It's something I can't quite explain, and at times it's honestly quite frustrating. So, in the waiting and wanting to be in Honduras, I will simply Draw near to God, clinging to the promise that He will indeed draw near to me. (James 4:8).

Back to the movie---> When the 8 year old daughter began resenting her mother,the following statement was made; "When she pushes you away that means she wants you more." 

The truth of this statement weighs heavily on my heart, because it is something I've personally experienced. 
There were many days in Honduras where I'd feel like my relationship with a child was progressing. He/she was beginning to open up to me more, share more of their past etc, then out of seemingly nowhere, said child would stop talking to me and make it a point that I noticed he/she was "mad" at me. As you can imagine this was a frustrating yet recurring event. I finally learned that they'd come back, I just needed to reassure them that when they were ready to talk, I'd be there to listen. If they were disobedient in school or got in trouble I'd explain that I knew and believed they could do better. These children longed to be loved, but they didn't always know how to accept that love when it was given. I not only said that I love them and that I care for them, but I showed it, over and over again. 

Was it easy? No, and I hate being away from them, because I don't want to be just another person who comes and goes. But, I've come to a much needed conclusion over the last month (yes, it's already been a month!) since my arrival in Spain. 
God has me here for a specific purpose, and each and every day he's slowly revealing to me why He has me here. 

The students in Honduras are going "around the world in 80 days", leveling in certain subjects and using the calendar change to work on areas they may struggle in. This is about the same amount of time I'm studying abroad in Sevilla. So, while they are working hard to learn English, I'm going to keep to the promise I made of working hard to learn Spanish.

One reason I believe God has me here, is to (obviously) learn Spanish. 
He's also continuing to give me a peace about returning to Honduras, which is extremely exciting. Being in another culture has solidified that Honduras definitely has my heart. Spain is beautiful, but I've realized just how much of a passion and love I have for the children at GSCH in Honduras. 
I've also been reminded that I am here to serve. Although there have certainly been disappointments (such as not being able to work in the bilingual school due to schedule conflicts), I've been praying about other places and people I can serve, and it's been exciting to see God place people in my life to do so. 

So, in the waiting and wanting to be in Honduras, I will do my best to enjoy where I am right now, taking advantage of and being extremely thankful for the incredible opportunities that lie in front of me. The next two months I am going to be reunited with many friends throughout Europe, and experience many things I'll be able to check off my bucket list, and I cannot wait. Even though my heart aches to be in Honduras, I will continue enjoying where God has me right now while clinging to the fact that He indeed has me here for a purpose. 

Trying to find a title for this blog was difficult, but suddenly the lyrics to a popular Christian worship song came to mind... 

"I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting

I will serve You

While I’m waiting

I will worship

While I’m waiting

I will not faint

I’ll be running the race

Even while I wait
I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it’s not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

Colossians 3:15 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful."

Thank you, Jesus for the incredible opportunities that lie in front of me. Please help me to use them to better serve you. I pray that these experiences will help mold and shape me into the young woman you are calling me to be. Refine me, so that others may see your reflection through me... Amen