The Day You Stop Looking Back

“Stop staring at the rear view, you ain't checking your hair, that wheel has spun and them lights are out, there ain't nothin' for you back there. Stop holding on so dang tight, 'bout time you let go..."

Nothing like some throwback Thomas Rhett to really hit me in the feels and make me think. Some friends/coworkers and I went through a really tough time August 28, 2018. My birthday, a day that should have been so fun and exciting, our lives and plans were shattered to pieces. 

That day, dreams and visions for the future were broken into a million pieces that will never be put back together.  

Each person dealt with this change differently; a change that seemed unfair, unjust, and just downright wrong. We each picked up a piece that was broken that day and did our best to move on. We had to. 

It’s been over a year, and I’ll be honest- I’m still in the healing process, I haven't completely let go. 

I realized that I’m still dealing with the heartbreak that my future isn’t what I thought it was going to look like and that is okay. 

August 28, 2018 will be a day I will never forget. As time goes on, the bitter feelings and memories of that day will decrease. There’s still pain, hurt, heartbreak, and visions that will never come to fruition (at least the way we envisioned.) 

But, the cool thing about Christ and my relationship with Him, is that He was there with me in that time, and still is with me every step of the way. Nothing that has happened surprised Him like it did me. He is faithful. 

Not only that, I can trust and lean on Him looking toward the future. God has a plan better than all I could ask for or imagine, a passage of Scripture I have clung to the last 4 years.
Ephesians 3: 16-21

"16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Is my life going to be different than I envisioned? 100%. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened that day. 

However, do I have to leave behind my memories? Absolutely not! I have so many memories that I will forever cherish. They shaped and molded me into who I am today. 

"Well the day you stop looking back, you’re gonna find that the future, it sure beats the hell out of the past. The day you stop looking back, is the day you start moving on....”

So yes, I still glance out the rearview mirror, but the further and further the past gets in that mirror, the better the future is looking. This doesn't mean I forget the past; I just don't dwell on it.
Everyone keeps telling me I am in such an exciting stage of life. A stage of waiting and longing for what is next. A stage I need and want to embrace. No, I have no idea what my life will look like even 6 months from now. But the great part about that is I know who does, and my life and plans are in the palm of His hands!
Gracias a Dios I don't have to have my life figured out!!

Thanks, Thomas Rhett for your song inspo and forcing me to reflect on a time of life I have worked hard to "get over." Thanks for making me realize I can look forward with excitement to all that is to come, while continuing to move on from all that is in my rearview mirror.